


I am Selfish, I am Brave

by CarrieLovesNewt



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth, The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Divergent Fusion, Amity!Newt, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dauntless!Thomas, Divergent, Divergent Crossover, Divergent!Newt, Divergent!Thomas, Gally is a bad guy, M/M, The Maze Runner Crossover, kind of, kind of evil Brenda, mentions of Brenda/Thomas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-20 05:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3639114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarrieLovesNewt/pseuds/CarrieLovesNewt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Divergent AU</p><p>Thomas was a Dauntless born, so no wonder he stayed in Dauntless.<br/>But the truth was, he wasn’t Dauntless. He could never be Dauntless. He was Divergent.</p><p>Newt was a transfer from Amity, the one they’d never expected.<br/>He wished himself to be brave, and brave he was. He just didn’t know it yet.</p><p>--</p><p>“My name’s Thomas. You’re the Amity, right? Dangerous move, transferring here of all places.”</p><p>“It’s Newt, and do I look like a bloody Amity to you?"</p><p>Trailer : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeONy-Hv0rI&feature=youtu.be</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dauntless

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is Chloe, I'm Carrie's sister. Since, you know, I can't be bothered to get my own account, I'm just going to use hers (Don't mind me, haha)  
> This was MY first fic, so I hope you guys enjoy. I'd like to hear about what you think in the comments :3  
> I'll probably continue this if I get a good response from you guys, but if not, oh well *shrug*

Thomas knew, regardless of his parents, he was going to stay in Dauntless. It was the only place he felt he could belong…even if he couldn’t belong forever.

The truth was, Thomas was Divergent. According to the Aptitude test, he belonged nowhere.

But he was still okay.

He’d just continue living the way he’d always been. Dauntless born were destined to stay Dauntless, it was a simple fact.

And now, here he was, sitting in The Hub, waiting for his name to be called. No one in Dauntless really took The Choosing Ceremony too seriously. The fact was that most Dauntless liked to stay brave. Thomas was part of that majority.

According to his tester, if anyone were to find out he was Divergent; he’d be dead within the hour. And despite him being a Dauntless born, he still feared death more than anything else in his life. Death was the unknown. The unknown was the enemy.

Minho took a seat beside Thomas at the edge of the hall, clearing his throat with a sigh. “Hey, shank. How’s it going?”

“To be honest, pretty shit.” Thomas admitted.

“You ain’t stressing over this are you?” Minho asked. Thomas didn’t reply. “What are you, a stiff?”

“Shut up, Min.” He elbowed his best friend in the stomach, a smirk upon his lips.

Thomas and Minho had been best friends for years. Minho was a Dauntless by blood and by soul. The guy was fearless, well at least that’s what he let off. Every morning, Thomas would see Minho run along the track line, and he’d always be the first to jump the train. The boy's strength was remarkable.

He already knew which faction he belonged to.

“Teresa Agnes.” The man called from the stage.

Minho and Thomas watched as a young Erudite made her way up to the center.

“Dude, I know her.” Minho whispered over to the brunette. “Her mom used to instruct my mom during working hours.”

“No shit.”

“Her birth name’s Deedee.” Thomas raised an eyebrow and Minho nodded melodramatically. “I know right.”

Teresa held her hand over the Dauntless bowl and drew a drop of blood.

“Dauntless.” The man called.

The Erudite group gave looks of disappointment, whilst the Dauntless gave a rowdy cheer of approval. “Good choice, Greenie!” Thomas had heard Ben call from a couple rows back.

As Teresa passed Thomas on the steps, he felt obliged to say, “Welcome to Dauntless.”

She stopped, a look of surprise upon her face, before she smiled and gave a nod of acknowledgement, making her way towards one of the empty seats.

“I ship.” Minho stated.

“Ugh, please, don’t.” Thomas rolled his shoulders back.

Minho simply chuckled. “Whatever, man.”

“Thomas Edison.” The man called.

“Good luck, shuck-face.” Minho said with a grin as Thomas made his way up to the center.

I am Dauntless. I am brave.

He repeated the words over and over in his mind. It was the only way he could will himself to pick up the knife and hold his hand above the Dauntless bowl.

It felt wrong.

He wasn’t Dauntless.

He wasn’t anything.

But, with no other road to turn to, he traced the blade over the palm of his hand and let a drop of blood fall from his skin, landing in the Dauntless bowl.

“Dauntless.”

“Thomas! Thomas! Thomas!” A chant came from the Dauntless side of the room. Thomas chuckled as he went back to where he’d been before. The brunette was fairly popular with those of Dauntless blood. They seemed to think of him as a sort of leader of a massive clique.

Ironically, he wasn’t even part of it.

Minho gave his friend a pat on the back. “You had me worried there for a second.” He whispered.

Thomas furrowed his brow, but decided upon staying silent.

“Isaac Newton.”

That was when they noticed a young blond stand from the crowd of Amity. He dressed in the usual colorful attire of an Amity born, but he didn’t seem to have an ounce of spirit in him.

Thomas had noticed that he walked with a limp, struggling down the set of steps and making his way towards the center. He wasn’t like the rest of the Amity born.

He appeared cold.

There was a striking moment of silence, as the blond edged the knife along his skin, glanced upon the bowls for less than half a second before making his choice.

And right then, everyone’s hearts ceased to beat.

“…Dauntless.”

There was another heaving silence as the Amity placed the knife upon the edge of the table with a light clatter. He stood for a moment before turning to the Dauntless.

It was then that Minho stood, as if to remind the others that a Dauntless was a Dauntless regardless of whom they were before. “Let’s have it for the shank!”

His call was followed by an uproar of applause from the Dauntless. Even Thomas found himself joining the group to cheer the blond on.

An Amity moving to Dauntless was a brave move to say the least.

Newt made his way over to his new faction, not even daring to look back at the rest of the Amity he’d left behind.

He passed Thomas and made brief eye contact with him. Thomas could have sworn he’d seen the very hint of a smile from the blond, but it was short lived.

He was beautiful.

…

“Train’s on its way, hurry the shuck up klunk-heads!” Minho called from the side of the tracks, helping his fellow Dauntless scurry up to the train line. “Come on, come on, anyone who falls behind gets to sleep with the Factionless!”

Thomas sees the train approaching and can’t help but lay a prayer down for the transfers.

“Race you.” Minho offers.

Thomas quirks an eyebrow. “Fine. See you on the train.”

Minho shakes his head with a snicker.

The train begins to slow by the tiniest amount and soon the Dauntless born are darting to get on, heaving the metal doors open and throwing themselves inside.

Thomas catches onto the edge of the train and manages to pull himself in, laughing as he rolls inside and ends up on his back. Minho follows soon after, landing on his knees and giving a grumble of frustration. “Better luck next time, shank.”

“Shuck off.” Minho flicks Thomas on the back of the ear.

It’s then that Thomas notices that some of the transfers were still struggling to get onto the train. He stands and makes his way to the sliding door just in time to see Teresa pull herself onto the platform.

He notices the young blond boy giving a hand to one of the other transfers and yet still trying to run after the train. His true Amity was beginning to show.

After heaving two more transfers onto the platform, the blond begins to make haste in getting onto the train himself, and Thomas fears he might not make it in time.

It was then that Thomas leaned from the train door, reaching his arm out to the blond as he ran.

“Take my hand!” He called.

The blond hesitated, eying the brunette, before shaking his head and grabbing hold of Thomas’ hand, allowing him to pull him up to the platform just in time.

Thomas stumbled, accidentally pulling the blond towards him, ending up on the floor of the train with the blonde’s body up against his chest.

Newt jumped, pushing himself away from the brunette in a moment of pure embarrassment. “I…uh…thank you.”

“Any time.” Thomas smirked, still trying to catch his breath. “My name’s Thomas. You’re the Amity, right?” When he got no answer, he simply cleared his throat and awkwardly continued speaking. “That’s, uh, that’s a pretty dangerous move, transferring to Dauntless of all places--”

“It’s Newt, and do I look like a bloody Amity to you?” The blond huffed, standing from the floor and brushing the filth from his shirt.

Thomas was almost taken aback by the marvelous accent. Where’d he even get it? He’d never met someone with such an accent before, and he had to admit, he rather liked it.

“…Well…it’s not as obvious as it could be.” Thomas laughed. “But, I mean, under all that bravery, you’re still Amity at heart, right? You saved those transfers from becoming factionless.”

“Well, that’s more Abnegation than Amity, don’t you think?” Newt laughed, before instantly regretting it. “Well, maybe not.”

Thomas smiled, though, he’d wondered. Abnegation? Dauntless? Amity? It was all very suspicious.

“Thomas,” The blond called, snapping the brunette from his daze. “I, um…” Newt felt his cheeks begin to warm, but Thomas seemed to find it rather adorable. “I hope we can be friends. I mean I know you’re a Dauntless born and I’m a transfer…but it’d be a real bloody shame to lose contact.”

“Well, let’s hope that doesn’t happen.” Thomas smirked, already enjoying Newt’s tender company.

“Yeah…”


	2. The Divergent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! GUESS WHO'S BACK!!!
> 
> And, oh my god, I literally just saw the Divergent movie (I know, I'm like a year late) but OH SHIT, it was good (but where was the muffin thing?? And Uriah?? AND THE BUTTER KNIVES??) Going to go see Insurgent soon!! EXCITEMENT!!
> 
> I hope you readers are okay with my shite writing (because, to be honest, I tone it down) why? Because I personally find fanfiction more entertaining if it's like, written in a simpler form.
> 
> But WHO CARES?

A few hours later…

Thomas hadn’t been too surprised to find out that all the initiates would be sharing the same room. It was sort of an ongoing joke really. Dauntless found themselves taking to be so brave that they even shared the same bathrooms. The transfers didn’t seem too happy about the situation to say the least.

Thomas had had a good look at all of the transfer initiates, and he’d pretty much summed it up. There were in total of nine transfers, five Candor, three Erudite and one Amity.

The Dauntless born had somewhat separated themselves from the transfers, leaving them the sets of beds at the far end of the room. It wasn’t anything personal, it was just all the Dauntless born knew each other from before the choosing ceremony, whilst they knew nothing about the others.

Thomas ended up taking the bed next to Minho’s, falling onto the matrass and burying his face into his pillow. He’d only looked up when he noticed a familiar blond take the bed to his other side.

He turned his head to see Newt, sitting with his spine pressed against the backboard of the bed, head lolled towards the blaring light hanging from the roof. He seemed a little downhearted; though Thomas could only pray that Newt wasn’t regretting his decision to transfer.

“Hey, you alright?” Thomas asked, turning onto his back so he didn’t have to crook his neck round so uncomfortably to make eye contact with the blond.

Newt blinked his eyes, bringing himself from his momentary daze. “Um, yeah. I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem--”

“I’m fine!” Newt snapped harsher than he’d intended, his composure giving a slight falter. Thomas winced, surprised that an Amity even knew how to use such a tone. “Sorry,” Newt shook his head, letting himself calm and taking a short breath, “It’s just a little overwhelming. Being here…it’s a lot to take in.”

“Yeah…I get it.” Thomas said. “For the record, you transferring to Dauntless is braver than anything I’ve ever done in my entire life.”

“…Thanks, Tommy.” Newt gave the brunette a soft smile that made Thomas feel a peculiar warmth in his chest, though he hadn’t any idea why. Tommy. No one had ever called him that before.

“Everybody listen up!” A heavy voice called from the center of the room, silencing all the initiates, including the Dauntless born. “Welcome to Dauntless everybody. My name’s Alby, I’m one of your Faction Leaders. I’m here to just give you guys a quick overview on what’s going to be happening.”

“You know this guy, right?” Minho whispered over Thomas’ shoulder. The brunette shrugged. “My dad worked with him once, said he transferred to Dauntless last year. He’s one of the best soldiers Dauntless has.”

“Here at Dauntless, we take the initiation process very seriously. There are three stages; the physical, the emotional, and the mental. During the first stage, the Dauntless born will be separated from the transfers. Dauntless born are with me and the transfers are with Faction Leader Eric.” Alby scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. “During the physical stage, any initiates who do not qualify after each round are kicked out. You’ll be factionless. But hey, as long as you can pull your own weight, you should be just fine…even you transfers over here.”

That was when Alby spotted the young Amity sat in the far side of the room. He seemed almost shocked, as though he recognized Newt from somewhere. Thomas turned to Newt, but the blond gave no indication of knowing whom Alby was.

After a moment of silence, Alby cleared his throat. “Well, all of you, get some rest. Training starts tomorrow.”

…

“Did you hear?” Minho stated, standing with the others in the firing zone. Alby had moved Minho away from the others due to his ‘chatting’ habits. Lucky for him, their leader had momentarily left to find Eric, which obviously gave Minho the opportunity to migrate back to Thomas and Ben. “Teresa almost shot Frypan in the shucking foot this morning. I heard the Leaders talking about it during lunch break.”

“Sheesh, talk about crazy woman, am I right?” Ben chuckled, aiming his gun at his target across the room. He fired a set of three bullets, only managing to hit the edge of the target, giving a grumble of frustration.

“Well, she’s an Erudite born. She’s probably never even held a gun before.” Thomas said, firing two bullets at the target and hitting it in the second to center ring.

“Yeah, well, she better get learning.” Minho said as he unloaded and reloaded his gun purely out of boredom. He continued to do this until Thomas got so irritated with the constant clicking of bullets and triggers that he snapped and elbowed Minho in the ribs to get him to stop. Minho simply laughed, seeming rather proud of himself.

That was when Thomas noticed Eric and Alby standing by the entrance to the shooting grounds. Newt was with them, though he couldn’t imagine why. Eric was gripping roughly at Newt’s shoulder, before coarsely shoving the transfer in Alby’s direction. Newt stumbled and shot Eric a look that could kill.

Thomas watched as Eric left the room, leaving Newt with Alby. The Leader seemed to smile and pulled the blond into a hug, which Newt willingly returned. It had Thomas more than a little confused, his heart subconsciously aching with a bitter tinge of jealousy.

“What’s the Amity doing here?” Minho questioned as Alby walked Newt to the empty firing space between Ben and Thomas. The brunette had a feeling Newt probably heard that, but of course he’d not provide a reaction.

Thomas could have sworn he’d heard Gally mutter from the other side of Minho, “Ain’t no place for Amity-folk.”

Alby left Newt to get set up on his own, going back to tending to the rest of the initiates.

“What are you doing here?” Ben asked, trying not to sound too unapproachable and somewhat failing.

It took a moment for Newt to realize Ben had been directing his attention to him, and soon broke from his daydream. “Oh, uh, Eric had me put with the Dauntless born.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Ben chuckled. “Why?”

Newt decided he didn’t feel like answering, so went on to load his gun and aim at the target in front of him. He fired five shots free and Thomas felt his heart stop as each one met dead center with the target. The entire room was drawn to a stunned silence. “That answer your question?” Newt said.

Ben had to remind himself to pull his jaw back up, swallowing hard. “How did--But you--Where did you learn to--”

“Funny, that’s exactly what Eric said.” Newt sighed, turning his head towards Thomas. The brunette noticed a hint of a smile from the blond and Thomas could have sworn his heart tangibly stopped beating.

“Alright, recruits!” Alby called, “Thirty minute break!”

“Hey, shank,” Minho called, grabbing Newt’s attention by placing a hand upon his shoulder. “Where’d you learn to shoot like that?”

Newt winced and brushed the Dauntless born’s hand off him. “I have a bloody name.”

“Okay, whatever, I’m just saying, I’ve never seen a Greenie shoot like that…ever.” Minho said, his eyes trailing up and down the Amity, as though trying to decipher him. “Whoever taught you must have had some serious balls.”

“Don’t waste your breath on that shank, Minho.” Gally said, a smirk pulling at his lip. “He’ll be out by tomorrow.”

“Hey, cut it out, Gally.” Thomas huffed.

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I offending your boyfriend?” Gally slurred. Thomas clenched his fists, resisting the urge to punch him square in the jaw. Thomas had never particularly liked Gally, mainly because he’d never been very accepting of those outside of Dauntless.

“I’d shut up if I were you.” The brunette hissed, giving Gally a subtle death threat.

“Why are you even defending this guy?” Gally sneered bitterly. “He’s a deadbeat fucking Amity for shuck’s sake!”

At this point, Thomas found himself practically fuming, grabbing Gally by the collar of his shirt and raising his fist. He couldn’t take this guys shit.

“Wow, hey, Thomas, Thomas, let the bastard go for shuck’s sake!” Minho pulled his best friend away from him before he even had the chance to swing. “You really want to get us all in deep shit? We only just shucking got here, I don’t plan on staying with the Factionless tonight.”

Gally straightened his shirt. “This wouldn’t be such a shucking problem if Thomas wasn’t in love with the shucking Amity--”

“Shut the fuck up, Gally.” Ben scowled, slapping Gally over the back of the head.

Thomas looked back to where Newt had been standing moments ago, only to find he was no longer there. He turned his head around to see the blond slowly making his way out of the room, head low as he limped out to the corridor.

…

(A few days prior)

“You’re a Divergent, Thomas.”

Thomas cleared his throat, furrowing his brow. “W-wait, I’m a what?”

“A Divergent.” The tester stated. “Your…group of…people…you don’t fit into a Faction. Your test results fell into Dauntless, Abnegation and Erudite.”

“…But that’s not possible.” Thomas raked his fingers through his hair. No. No this couldn’t be happening. He wasn’t Divergent. His entire family was Dauntless born, this was impossible. He’d had no history of transfers in his bloodline. There was no way he could be anything other than his born Faction. “But…what am I supposed to do?”

“Trust no one. Tell no one about what you are. Your life depends on secrecy…As for the choosing ceremony…I’d stick with Dauntless if I were you. You seem like a brave young man. I’m sure you’ll be able to put this behind you…”

…

“What’d your results say?” Alby asked.

“What’d you bloody think they said?” Newt hissed, loading his gun before firing at the empty row of bottles on the other side of the garden. He cursed under his breath as two out of four bottles shattered.

No one ever came out to the gardens at night, so no one would see him out here with Alby.

“I’m a bloody Divergent…”

“Yeah, no I got that part.” Alby said, standing from the log and making his way over towards Newt. “I mean what results did you actually get?”

“…Amity, Abnegation and Dauntless.”

“…Where you going then?”

Newt fired two more bullets at the bottles and failed to catch a hit. “Bloody hell…” He turned his eyes down to his gun and sighed. His mother had given it to him before her passing. She’d been a Divergent. She’d been the reason why Newt was friends with a Dauntless. “Probably stay in Amity. It’s…where I belong, I suppose.”

“Keep that arm straight. Remember to follow through.” Alby reminded. Newt nodded and raised his gun once more. “Don’t hold your breath.” Newt cleared his throat, before shaking his head, lining up his vision and taking a clear two shots.

Both the bottles shattered and Newt felt a smile pull at his lip.

“Shame. Seems like a real waste of talent. Someone like you being stuck in somewhere like…well, Amity.” Alby chuckled. “I gotta’ go. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Newt turned his eyes to the floor. Alby thought he belonged in Dauntless. Was he right? And Amity born transferring to Dauntless just sounded absolutely bazar…and yet, something about it just sounded so appealing. “…Yeah.”

…

(Present…)

Newt held himself to the edge of The Chasm, staring down at the rapid running water just below. The roaring water within the ravine reminded him of when the storms back in Amity grew too strong and killed their entire crop. Those endless nights of rain and thunder had always been so exciting to the young Divergent.

Why the hell was he here?

All his life, he’d never given much of a glance to the Dauntless. His father and brothers had taught him to grow crops and plant seeds and to be kind to others. That was all he was ever supposed to do.

So why Dauntless?

“You know, you don’t seem too happy about this whole transfer thing.”

Newt turned his head, practically jumping out of his own skin at the sight of Thomas leaning against the railing beside the Chasm. “Bloody hell, scared the shucking klunk outa’ me.”

“Sorry.” The brunette sniggered. “I get that a lot.”

“What are you doing here?” Newt asked.

“I was about to ask you the same thing.” Thomas glanced down towards the ravine and practically gagged at the sight of the drop. Jesus Christ. Newt quirked his brow and Thomas gave a sigh. “What?”

“You’re not…like…scared of water, are you?” He said, unable to keep a smile off his face.

“What? No.” Thomas cleared his throat anxiously. “I’m, um...I’m scared of heights.”

“Sorry, what was that?” 

"I said I'm scared of heights." Thomas mumbled, scratching the back of his neck coyly.

"Sorry, can't hear you over the waterfall." Newt teased.

“I’m scared of heights!” Thomas shouted, his voice echoing down the chasm. “Happy?”

“So, let me get this straight,” Newt shook his head with a laugh. “You can jump on and off a moving train onto a roof, throw knives, shoot guns, fall off a building into a fucking black hole--”

“Okay, the black hole thing’s different.” Thomas leaned his head over the edge of the chasm and then instantaneously regretted it. “If you can’t see what you’re falling to, it’s not really a big issue. THIS however, is completely different. Like, you see that shit, right? That’s…just…no.”

Newt covered his mouth to stifle a chuckle and Thomas couldn’t help but feel as though a weight upon his chest had been lifted. Newt had an unquestionably beautiful smile.

“So, what about you?”

“What about me?” Newt shrugged.

“What are you afraid of?”

Newt seemed to hesitate, holding his breath before shaking his head and giving a smile. “Guess you’ll have to find that out for yourself.”

Thomas laughed. “Okay, fine, but know this: I get what I want like ninety-nine percent of the time, so, watch yourself.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll take your word for it.” The blond replied.

There was a silence between the two, though it felt comfortable. It was the kind of silence you enjoy before settling down for a night’s rest. The gap between the two had shrunk to about half an inch, and Thomas felt as though, for the first time in a long while, he was finally somewhere he belonged.

“Hey, Tommy,” Newt started.

“Yeah?”

“You wanna’ go get tattoos?”


	3. Simulation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, yeah, tad bit late. Sorry about that. I was preoccupied with LIFE. I literally JUST finished this chapter so sorry if it's really rough.
> 
> This proves that I suck at schedules. But yes, I see improvement, and that's a plus in my books! GO ME!!! Banter.
> 
> Also, fun fact, I'm going to be on a flight back to my home country in a few days, so sorry if there's a tad bit of a gap, but you know, life. What can you do?

“Ahh…” Newt winced as the needle pierced a little too deep for comfort.

“Sorry.” Thomas said, wiping Newt’s back with the damp cloth.

“It’s fine.” Newt assured, the brunette’s touch against his shoulder sending shivers down his spine. He’d never been more nervous for something so minor in his entire life. “Where’d you learn to do this kinda’ stuff anyway?”

“Uh, pretty much all Dauntless born kids can do tattoos.” Thomas stated, whirling the ink gun back to life. “Just some people do it better than others, so they go into professional tattooing. Also, my dad kinda’ got paid to ink people up. Taught me everything he knows.”

“Sounds like a charmer.” Newt said with a snicker. Thomas chuckled as he resumed his work on the blonde’s skin. He felt almost horrid for damaging such clear and flawless skin with harsh lines of ink. “Do you miss ‘em?”

“Hm?” Thomas kept his hand steady, still trying to hear Newt over the buzz of the tattoo gun.

“Your family. Do you miss them?”

“Oh…” Thomas would sound like a horrible human being if he said no, but he didn’t want to lie to Newt. “They’re…well, I don’t really know them all too good anyways. They were always busy.”

“…I see.” Newt said, trying not to move as Thomas moved up his spine. The sting was practically unbearable and Newt found himself biting at his lip, trying to ease the pain. Thomas seemed to notice his tension and grew a little concerned.

“Hey, um, not to sound weird or anything, but why’d you chose Dauntless?" He asked, trying to distract him. "I mean…I’m glad you did, but an Amity transferring here is…well, it’s not exactly common.”

“…My mother told me that I wasn’t like the others in our Faction. She said I was ‘unique’.” Newt laughed, shaking his head.

“Well…if it makes any difference, I think you’re pretty awesome.” Thomas said, finishing up on the last details of Newt’s tattoo.

“You’re a buggin’ weirdo, Tommy.” Newt said fondly.

“Why thank you.” Thomas turned off the tattoo gun and grabbed the damp cloth, cleaning up Newt’s back. “Seriously though.”

The blonde raised an eyebrow with a slight chuckle. “What?”

“Like I’ve never met anyone like you, Newt. You’re different. I...I like you. You…ugh, how do I say this without sounding like a creep? You…excite me.” Thomas traced his finger down Newt’s tattoo and caused the blonde to flinch.

Newt turned a slight crimson and cleared his throat. “That’s…um…that’s nice, Tommy, but…I don’t think…” Newt pulled his hand over his shoulder, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed being top-half naked in front of Thomas. “Um…sorry, never mind.”

…

Some days later…

“Shut up, Minho. That Amity’s got more balls than you ever had.” Ben chuckled, taking a seat opposite the guy in the cafeteria.

“That’s not an Amity. Amity Folk don’t shucking fight and shoot and stuff, at least not like that.” Minho huffed, dropping his forehead to the tabletop. It’d been raking his brain for the past few hours. There was something about Newt that just didn’t seem quite right. He didn’t act like an Amity, but Minho wouldn’t have gone so far as to say he was Dauntless.

“Hey, look who it is!” Ben howled as Frypan, Winston and Jeff made their way towards their table. “How’s it going, shanks?” Ben flicked Minho on the back of the neck and his head shot up from the table.

“Training got ya’ beat, Min?” Frypan teased as he seated himself next to Ben.

“Ah, shuck off, ya’ shank.” He waved off.

It was then that Minho noticed the familiar dark-haired girl standing just behind Winston, only she’d become hardly recognisable compared to the last time he’d taken a good look at her. She wore a black tank top beneath a leather jacket with matching black jeans and heavy leather boots. The beginning of a Dragon’s tail tattoo could just be seen on her collarbone, disappearing under her shirt.

“Damn, Greenie, you clean up good.” Minho complemented.

“Thanks.” Teresa replied with a friendly smile.

“Dudes, move up for the lady, god!” Ben ordered snappishly. Teresa gave a chuckle as the boys began to make room for her at the lunch table.

“Aw, I feel special.” She took a seat next to Frypan on the relatively cramped table.

“How’s life on the Transfer side?” Minho asked.

“Could be better. Eric’s a total ass.” Teresa admitted.

“Oh yeah, we know.” Ben said, causing the group to chuckle. “He’s been a total klunk-head ever since Newt was moved to the Dauntless Born training.”

“Bet the guy’s just jealous.” Teresa said, stealing a potato chip from Frypan’s plate of food.

“You seen that Brenda chick though?” Ben questioned.

“Who’s Brenda?” Minho asked.

“Dude, last time I checked, she was near the top of the ranking board. I saw her fighting a couple of the Dauntless last night. The woman’s a total badass.” Ben shook the smirk off his face. “Never talked to her though. She’s always training.”

“I don’t think I like her much.” Teresa confessed. “She’s a little tacky.”

“Wow, Teresa, your inner Erudite bitch is showing.” Minho joked. Teresa merely rolled her eyes, slouching back into her seat. “Heard she’s got a thing for Thomas.”

“EVERYONE has a thing for Thomas.” Winston said, taking a swig from a can of beer.

“Can’t exactly blame them though. He’s a dark Dauntless born, Bisexual with muscles and ‘oh so dreamy eyes’. What’s not to love?” Ben said theatrically, placing his hands upon his heart with a dramatic flaunt. The group began to burst into laughter.

“Guys, guys, shut up.” Minho ushered as a familiar duo began to approach.

“Thomas, Newt, where you guys been?” Ben said, once again pushing Minho further down the table to make room for the two, which only seemed to darken the already rather cranky man’s mood.

“Sightseeing.” Thomas replied rather dully, allowing for Newt to sit before he did so himself.

Minho noticed Newt was wearing one of Thomas’ old shirts. It wasn’t hard to tell because it was way too big for the smaller blonde. The ill-fitting shirt managed to expose the back of Newt’s left shoulder, baring just the hint of the vine of thorns tattoo running down his back.

“Nice ink.” Minho said.

“Oh, right.” Newt shyly pulled his shirt back over his shoulder. “Um, thanks.”

“When’d you get it done?” He asked.

“Couple of days ago.”

“Looks good. Suits that pretty face of yours.” Minho said, causing the blonde to blush and Thomas to go a little tense. “Ben talked me into getting the Dauntless sign on my back. Cheesy as fuck, right?”

“Hey, it turned out great. I did you a shucking favor.” Ben said, causing Teresa to snigger.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Minho waved off. “I’d let you see it, but I don’t think your boyfriend over here would be too happy about me taking off my shirt in front of you.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Thomas stated a little too strongly. Newt frowned though said nothing.

Minho opened his mouth to retaliate, though was cut off by the sound of a horn in the center of the cafeteria. Alby stood upon one of the tables, calling silence. “Everybody listen up!” People began to gather round near where he stood. The group began to join them. “As we’re reaching the end of stage one, I’d like to thank you all for choosing Dauntless, and I’d also like to apologize to those of you who will be leaving us today. If your name is below the line then you’ll be asked to leave by sundown.”

The scoreboard appeared where Alby stood, and the recruits waited impatiently for their names to appear. One by one, a cheer of relief and thrill was given as each name appeared on the board.

1\. Minho  
2\. Thomas  
3\. Brenda  
4\. Gally  
5\. Ben  
6\. Zart  
7\. Aris  
8\. Jeff  
9\. Winston  
10\. Clint  
11\. Frypan  
12\. Newt  
13\. Tim  
14\. Stan  
15\. Jack  
16\. …  
17\. …

Thomas ultimately stopped paying attention after he saw everyone he knew get passed the line. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Everyone below twenty-two were in the red zone. Thomas felt a little bad for them, but couldn’t find it in his heart to stay unhappy.

…

“Shucking shuck man, we’re shucking in!” Ben whistled, falling back onto his bed.

“Are you drunk, dude?” Minho groaned, rolling over onto his chest as he rested his head in his pillow.

“Just a little. Gally made like this weird moonshine shit.” Ben rolled his shoulders and sighed.

“Yeah, well, you’re gonna’ feel like shit tomorrow.” Minho yawned. “We got simulation training.”

“What’s that?” Thomas asked, taking a seat on the edge of his bed and kicking his boots off.

“Not entirely sure.” Minho said. “According to Alby, we go into a simulation that tests our ability to handle our fear in different situations.”

“Sounds trippy as hell.” Winston huffed, hiding his head under his blanket. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m trying to shucking sleep!”

Thomas glanced over in Newt’s direction. The blonde sat upright on his bed unwrapping his ankle’s bandage. He could tell he was in pain just by looking at him. It probably ached from the day’s training anyways.

“How’d you do it?” Thomas asked. “Hurt your foot I mean.”

“Had a bit of an accident back in Amity.” He said. “I was climbing one of the fences around the fields and I slipped.” He turned his eyes down to the ground, as though a memory had taken him by surprise. “Should heal up soon…well, at least I hope.”

“You shouldn’t strain yourself too much.” Thomas said. “You’ll make it worse.”

“You know you don’t have to pretend like you care, Tommy.” Newt said, his voice sounding a little broken.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Thomas questioned defensively.

“…Never mind.” Newt felt his body grow ridged as he ran a hand through his hair.

“If I didn’t want to care about you then I wouldn’t. I’m no stiff, Newt.” Thomas said plainly. “I care because I want you to be in Dauntless. You’re a good soldier and you belong here.”

Newt gave an undertone smile, fiddling with the tips of his fingers as a sadness drifted his mind. “You have no idea, do you?” Thomas furrowed his brow in confusion.

Before he had a chance to question him, Thomas felt a tap upon his shoulder. He turned his head to see an unacquainted young girl with long brown hair and dark eyes standing behind him. “Uh…hey?”

“You’re Thomas, right?” She questioned.

“Um…yeah?” Thomas replied a little wearily.

“Name’s Brenda.” She stated confidently. “I saw you at training today. You’re pretty good aren’t you?”

“I guess you could say that.” Thomas said with a slight smile. “Not too bad yourself.”

“Well, I do try.” She grinned. “You seem like a pretty fun guy. Why don’t I know you yet?”

“On the contrary to popular belief, I’m kind of a shut-in.” Thomas said with a shrug, causing Brenda to give a chuckle.

“You’re cute, Thomas. So listen, a couple of mates of mine are going down to the Pit for a bit of a post-stage one celebration. I can go with me. I could use someone sexy to dance with.”

“Uh, well I don’t really--”

“And I don’t take no for an answer.” She said, pulling Thomas to his feet. He saw Minho beginning to snigger out of the corner of his eye before Brenda took him by the hand and hauled him away from his bed towards the corridor.

“Have fun, kids!” Ben called. “Use protection!”

“Shut up, Ben!” Thomas howled back, causing the entire room of initiates to crawl with laughter.

Newt waited until Thomas and Brenda had left the room before he let his composure falter, carding his fingers through his hair, a bitterness boiling in his stomach. He couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but the way Brenda looked at Thomas just made Newt’s blood run cold. He wasn’t jealous though. He couldn’t be. He barely knew Thomas to begin with.

So why did he have this strange feeling that he’d just lost something very important?

…

Newt found himself standing in an empty room with nothing but a chair opposite him and a gun in his right hand. He turned his head over his shoulder but saw nothing. As soon as he turned his head back the chair was no longer empty.

A familiar looking face sat within the chair. A little girl with light blond hair and dark brown eyes sat with her hands behind her back, a smile on her innocent young face. Newt felt his heart sink to his stomach. She was just as he remembered her.

His little sister.

Suddenly, Newt heard a voice so cold and hollow that it made him shiver.

“Shoot her.”

He knows he has to do it. Why else would she be here?

But he couldn’t. Not her. Not the one person left in this world that he loved.

With a trembling hand, he raises his gun and aims it at the girl’s head.

“Hello, Isaac.” The girl says absentmindedly with a glowing grin.

He feels an ache in his heart at the sound of her voice. “Hey Annie.”

This isn’t real.

Newt looks down at his gun then back at Annie. This isn’t real.

“Shoot her.” The voice calls again.

This isn’t real.

Newt raises his gun to the right side of his skull. This isn’t real.

He takes one last look at Annie, smiles, and pulls the trigger.

…

Newt wakes with a gasp, clasping his hands to his head and hunching foreword, unable to catch his breath until Alby puts a hand upon his shoulder. “Newt, hey, look at me. Newt!”

It felt as though the bullet had gone straight through his head, only there’d been no bullet to begin with. “Ann…Annie…”

“Newt, it’s over.” Alby knelt beside him, looking the initiate dead in the eye. “You’re okay.”

“…I’m sorry.” Newt rested his elbows over his knees and ran his hands through his hair, the shock still taking him by the throat.

“Well, don’t be.” Alby said, standing up and making his way over to the screen. “Not everyone can just shoot themselves in the face like that.” He gave a laugh, though it really shouldn’t have been that funny. Regardless, Newt found himself giving a weak smirk, before dropping his head and staring down at his tattered boots. “Um, just a head’s up, your Divergent’s showing.”

“Yeah…I know.” Newt ran his hand down the back of his neck. “I couldn’t bloody do it.”

“Well, you got plenty of time to learn. If you go pulling klunk like that in the final, they’re gonna’ see right through you.” Alby helped Newt out of the metal chair and walked him to the door. “You alright?” Newt nodded, unable to find his words. “Well…good that.”

He opened the door and watched as the blonde limped towards the exit. “Alright,” Alby called, “Teresa, you’re up.”

Minho noticed Newt leave off as soon as he’d finished his simulation and decided to follow.

“Hey, shank!” He called down the corridor. Newt turned and stopped. Minho jogged to catch up with him and breathed a heavy sigh. “How was it?”

“Fine.” He replied with a short shrug.

Minho cocked an eyebrow. “That it?”

“It was buggin’ fine, okay.” Newt began to make his way back to the dorm.

“Okay slinthead, how is it that every single mother-shucker that comes out of that room looks like shit, and yet you’re just ‘fine’. Care to explain that?” Minho pulled on Newt’s shoulder and stood in front of him, trying to block his path. Newt pushed past him and followed through into the dorm. Minho tailed only a couple paces behind.

The two of them stopped dead in the doorway, barely able to process the situation in front of them.

Thomas lay chest down on his bed, his head rested on his pillow with Brenda straddling his back and rubbing his shoulders.

Newt pulled his hand over his mouth. He felt as though he were about to be sick.

“Dude, what are you doing?” Minho chuckled.

Brenda jumped off the bed and crossed her arms.

“I pulled a muscle.” Thomas said, pushing himself to sit up straight.

“Yeah, I’m sure you did.” His best friend smirked. “Is this like an official thing now?”

“What? No, I pulled a shucking muscle! Brenda was helping me loosen up.”

“Yeah, ‘loosen up’.” Minho teased.

“Shut up, Min.”

Newt found himself feeling unambiguously uncomfortable with this situation and instinctively left the room, head low and eyes to the ground. He felt like shit. The familiar sensation of his heart beginning to shrink kicked in. It was like the moment before you burn yourself, when you’re merely caught in a somewhat agonizing shock. He didn’t know why, seeing Thomas with Brenda made him feel sick to his stomach. He’d already had a hunch the two would hook up at some point, so it’d not been much of a surprise.

Still, just because you acknowledge the punch, doesn’t make the bruising any less painful.

…

“The serum stimulates the part of your brain that transmits fear. You’ll be put into a situation where you have to deal with the problem whilst facing your worst nightmares.” Alby said as he loaded up the serum.

“Can I ask you a question?” Thomas said. Alby gave a shrug. “You’re friends with Newt, right?”

He paused. “That doesn’t really concern you, does it?”

“Yeah, I know, it’s just, well, I mean you guys seem close and I--” Thomas sighed, unsure of how to communicate what he was trying to explain. “Does Newt have a problem with me?”

“I wouldn’t know. He hasn’t talked about you.” Alby admitted.

“Really?” Thomas grumbled. “Shit.”

“Why? You like him?” Alby asked curiously.

“…Um…” Thomas glanced over at the door then down to his feet then back at Alby. “…Maybe?”

Alby gave a laugh before holding Thomas by the shoulder and injecting the serum into his neck. “Well that’s interesting.”

“You’re not gonna’ tell him, are you?” Thomas asked.

“Nah. I’m not that kind of a friend.” Alby made his way over to his monitor. “You want my advice? Just go for it. Newt’s a pretty awkward kid. If you want to get with him, you’re gonna’ have to work for it.”

Thomas shrugged. To be honest, he’d been thinking about it for quite some time. He was to the point of desperation. He needed to get in this blonde boy’s head. He wanted to know what made him tick. He wanted to know all his perfections and his flaws. Though, all Newt ever seemed to do was push him away and it was starting to drive him mad.

“One more thing.” Alby said as Thomas began to drift to the affects of the serum. “If you do anything to hurt my best friend in any way, I will find you and beat the klunk out of you.”

“Good to know.” Thomas said with a smile as he went under.


	4. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit this has been a relatively uneventful chapter, but nonetheless I hope you enjoy.
> 
> I may have also by accident kind of sort of made the chapters longer so it's like roughly 3000 words a chapter....I hope that's alright with you guys! I'm just like UBER enjoying writing this SOOOOOOO, you know, whatever.

Thomas opened his eyes and found himself crouching in a small metal box. For a moment, he found himself to be in nothing but silence, until he feels the walls start to move, enclosing him into a shrinking space.

Instinctively he pushed his back against the far wall of the box and put his feet up on the other wall, trying to push them apart. He felt his breathing falter as the roof of the box came closer and closer to the floor. His heart rate was speeding out of control. Was he having a panic attack?

The brunette had had terrible claustrophobia ever since he was a kid. He couldn’t stand it. 

Thomas, stay calm. He held his breath as the walls pushed his knees to his chest. He felt like screaming. The confinement only increased as the box grew smaller. Stay calm.

This isn’t real.

He tried to move his arms free from their position and managed to earn himself a little extra space. This isn’t real.

He placed his feet a little higher up against the wall and used all his strength to force the box open. This isn’t real.

His muscles were beginning to burn, but slowly the walls began to part. This isn’t real.

Suddenly, the walls stopped, and Thomas found himself able to breathe again.

…

Thomas sat up and shook his head, blinking his eyes and trying to rid himself of the daze the serum had given him.

“Shuck.” Alby cursed beneath his breath, leaning the palms of his hands against his monitor. Thomas caught his breath, running his hand down the back of his neck. He felt a little nauseous, but whether it was the motion sickness or the claustrophobia was uncertain. “Uh…shit…you alright there, Greenie?”

Thomas could see Alby was on edge, though he decided not to question him. Instead, he focused on trying to get his vision to clear. “Yeah…I’m fine.”

“Good that…” Alby turns his head down before glancing at the monitor again. “Listen…how long do you think you were in there for?”

“Uh, like, thirty minutes I guess.” Thomas said, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

“Two minutes. You were in there for two minutes.” Alby began fiddling with his monitor, erasing Thomas’ practice footage from the system, feeling a little uneasy. He’d not expected to find anyone like Newt in the Dauntless system. “…No one just stops the walls like that, Thomas.” The brunette began to grow tense, fiddling with his nails. Did he know?

“What were your test results?”

Thomas froze. “What?”

“For your aptitude test. What were your test results?” Alby stated firmly.

“…Dauntless.” Thomas replied, reminding himself that no one, especially not the Dauntless leaders, could be trusted.

“Don’t lie to me, Thomas.” Alby huffed in irritation. “I’m trying to help you.”

“I’m not lying.” Thomas asserted. Well, at least he knew he wasn’t Candor.

“I don’t believe you.” Alby hissed. “I’m gonna’ ask you one more time. What were your test results?”

“Dauntless.”

…

Two days later…

Thomas knew his parents were far too busy to pay a visit to him today. The one time parents are actually allowed to see their kids and they don’t show up. He felt a little bad about it, but to be honest, his father had warned him he’d be on his own after the choosing ceremony, which he didn’t mind so much.

He stood by The Pit floor, watching as the other initiates said hello to their family members. Eric had given them all a caution about ‘Faction before Blood’, which no one seemed to be biding by at that moment in time. Of course Ben’s parents showed up. Pretty much every Dauntless Born had their friends and family visiting them today. He seemed rather happy to see them again.

Thomas had once stayed over at Ben’s house for supper. The dinner had gone pretty smoothly and his parents were exceptionally polite for a couple of Dauntless born.

Minho’s dad had showed up, and Thomas was almost certain that his best friend would grow up to look just like his father some day. His father worked as a Soldier and was fairly well known in the world of Dauntless.

Teresa stood with a young couple dressed in blue. Erudites. It’d been so long since Thomas saw Teresa in a blue uniform; he’d completely forgotten she’d once been one of them. Her parents seemed rather stern and stiff jawed, though at least they had the heart to show up.

That was when Thomas noticed Newt leaning against the railing by himself, ankles crossed and hands behind his back. He didn’t know much about Newt’s family. He’d briefly mentioned his mother on one or more occasions, though it was barely anything to judge by. He was still waiting, so obviously he had to have had some family. Thomas had half a mind to go join him by the railing. The scene around him was way too jovial for Thomas’ liking as it was.

It was then that Thomas saw Newt’s eyes light up as he pushed himself away from the railing. He fell to one knee as a little girl in a red and orange dress ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his body, giving Newt the biggest hug a child her size could give. She looked no older than six or seven, and Thomas knew they must have been related, since they had the same fair blond hair and beautiful dark eyes. The girl began to cry on Newt’s shoulder and for the first time since they’d arrived Thomas felt as though he was seeing Newt’s true expression of happiness.

…

It’d been hours since Visiting Day had begun and almost all of the visitors had left. Annie was still there, talking with her big brother. They’d been talking nonstop since her arrival. Newt had been somewhat glad it’d been just her today. He wouldn’t have been able to cope if his father had come as well. All he needed was to see Annie. He cared too much about her.

“You look really different, Isaac.” Annie sighed, her eyes trailing up and down her big brother.

“Yeah, well, it wouldn’t be right if I still dressed like an Amity.” Newt said with a shrug.

“Daddy says you left Amity to go smoke stuff and do bad things with bad people.” Annie said, holding onto the rail. “Is that true?”

“What? No, don’t be a buggin’ idiot.” Newt laughed. “I’m still the same brother I was before, you know.”

“But you’re Dauntless now.” She hummed, squinting her eyes. “What’s that?” She pointed to the back of Newt’s neck where the tail of his tattoo could be seen just above the collar.

“It’s a tattoo, Anne.” Newt said. “It’s something Dauntless get to show that they’re strong.”

“You don’t need a tattoo to be strong, Isaac.” Annie grinned innocently. “Mother never had tattoos.”

“Yeah…well, that woman was born tough.” Newt said, ruffling his sister’s long locks of golden hair. She giggled and hugged at Newt’s leg. Ever since his mother died, he’d been the only person to care for Annie as she’d done. He was all that girl had, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty for leaving her so soon.

“Hey, Newt,” Thomas called, making his way over. “We’re taking a trip down town before training starts. You coming?”

“Uh, yeah, give me a second.” Newt says.

“Oh, sorry.” Thomas seemed surprised to see Annie was still here. He gives a friendly smile. “Who’s this?”

“She’s my sister.” Newt explains. “Anne, you wanna’ say hi?”

“Hello sir! My name’s Annie, it’s nice to meet you.” She says with a bright grin. Thomas noticed she had the same accent as Newt, and he couldn’t help but wonder where it came from. She held out her hand for him to shake, and he accepted.

“Damn, forgot how polite Amity Folk were.” He chuckled. “My name’s Thomas.” The little girl gave a small curtsied which made the brunette chuckle. “She’s got your smile, Newt.” Newt turned his head down, his cheeks turning a slight crimson. “Well, hate to rush this, but trains coming in a bit. Better hurry up or they might just leave without us.”

“Uh, yeah, I’ll catch up with you in a bit.” Newt said. Thomas complied with a nod.

“It’s been an honor, little Miss Annie. I look foreword to seeing you again.” Thomas said with a theatrical bow. Annie giggled, seeming to take quite a liking to the brunette.

As Thomas turned to make his way out to find the others, Newt knelt down to see eye to eye with his sister. “You should probably get back home, kiddo.”

“…Yeah, I know.” She pouted. Annie then dug into her pocket and pulled out a small silver chain with a circular copper locket hanging from its largest hoop. “Have this.” She insisted, as she pushed herself onto her tiptoes and strung the chain around her big brother’s neck.

The chain was just long enough so that the locket fell just over his heart. Annie fiddled with the locket and popped it open with her thumb. Inside was a picture of her with a familiar black dog. On the other half of the locket sat a picture of their mother. Newt smiled.

“If you lose it I’ll kill you.” Annie huffed, crossing her arms and frowning. Newt gave a chuckle.

“Well that’s not very Amity of you.” Newt said. Annie shook her head and gave her brother one last hug. “Be safe, Annie.”

“You too, Isaac.”

…

“Three, two, one, go!” Minho took the lead, being the first to jump off the train, landing on the metal platform. Thomas jumped after him, landing right next to the guy, kneeing Minho in the back of the leg by accident. Minho scowled and shoved Thomas over the back of the head, causing him to burst into laughter.

Ben jumped with Frypan, which ended in an awkward collision on the platform, though the two laughed it off and Ben had to stop himself from falling off the platform.

Newt jumped in the middle of the platform and gave Teresa his hand, helping her to get off the train cart.

Brenda jumped off next to Thomas and smiled as the brunette kindly helped her to steady herself as she landed, holding onto her shoulder and arm. Newt noticed their closeness and eye contact and he couldn’t help but curse beneath his breath, wishing he didn’t have to see that.

Newt loved seeing Thomas smile, but not with her. That was it. He didn’t want to have to see Thomas become so happy with someone other than himself, and he felt so bad about feeling the way he did. He knew it was selfish of him to have ‘feelings’ for Thomas. That was why he’d been so unwilling to tell Thomas about his little crush. He didn’t want him to feel as though he needed to be with him. He didn’t want to force Thomas into that kind of situation. If Thomas was happier being with a girl like Brenda, then fine.

“Nice view.” Ben commented, standing on the edge of the platform that overlooked the skyline just beyond the wall. The sun had begun to fall behind the earth, painting the canvas of sky with blossoming colors of red and orange.

“Yeah, no kidding.” Thomas said with a sigh as he stretched his arms over his head.

“Better than being stuck underground for god knows how long.” Minho grumbled, sitting himself on the grass just beside the platform and turning his head to the sky.

“Hey, it ain’t so bad in the Pit.” Frypan said. “Better than being on the streets with…”

“The Factionless? Yeah. Whatever.” Minho uttered bitterly. “Guess I should be glad we’re all still here…alive.”

Newt sat by the far side of the group, tapping his fingers against the grass and enjoying the view of the city. As an Amity he’d never really gotten much of a chance to stop and take a look at the world around him. He knew it wasn’t much, but it felt like home.

“Hey, Newt.” Teresa said, taking a seat beside the blonde.

“Oh, hey Teresa.” Newt said.

“You alright?” She asked. 

“Yeah, just…feeling a little sick.” Newt complied. “I’m fine.” 

Teresa hummed before giving a gracious smile. “Jealousy’s a bitch, right?”

“…Wait what?” Newt stammered ineptly.

“Well, it’s pretty obvious, I’m not gonna’ lie.” Teresa shrugged her shoulders. “I think it’s kinda’ cute. I mean, I haven’t known you guys for that long or anything, but you and Thomas, I can see you guys have a connection.”

“…Is it really that obvious?” Newt asked coyly.

“…Well, lucky for you, we’re surrounded by a group of shanks that don’t know dead nothing about love.” Teresa said. “Probably don’t suspect a thing.”

“…I ain’t bloody in love with him, I barely know the guy.” Newt protested, picking at a blade of grass. “I guess…I wouldn’t mind getting to know him a little better…”

“Call it whatever you want, you wanna’ be with him.” Teresa stated. “And I wouldn’t mind giving you a hand, that is, if you wouldn’t mind doing me a little favor. See, I’m kind of looking for a tutor.”

Newt raised an eyebrow. “Tutor? Never thought I’d hear an Erudite born say something like that.”

“Well, not that kind of tutor.” She said as she turned her head down. “I…well I kind of suck at this whole fear Landscape thing and…well, I hear you’re pretty good, I mean, you have the fastest time out of all of the initiates and, well I could really use the help is all I’m saying…I don’t want to be kicked off just because I’m afraid of bugs.”

Newt laughed, nodding his head. “Yeah, well, everyone’s afraid of something.”

“Everyone minus you apparently.” Teresa smirked. “So, we got a deal?”

“Sure thing.” Newt said.

“Wait, really?” Teresa said sounding rather surprised. “You’re actually going to help me?”

“Um, yeah, sure, if you want me to.” Newt shrugged. Teresa broke into the widest grin before pulling the blond into a tight and almost suffocating hug, causing Newt to choke and almost lose his balance.

“Thank you thank you thank you so much!”

Thomas watched from the other side of the grass patch, secretly spying on Newt as he started talking to Teresa. He hadn’t thought much of it until the point in which Teresa wrapped her arms around him in a fitted embrace. What annoyed him most was Newt didn’t make any movement to push her away. He didn’t even flinch.

Every time Thomas even came close to Newt, he’d see him flinch or try to move away. Every time they touched, even if by accident, Newt would react almost immediately, as if he didn’t want to be anywhere near him. Was he really that repulsed by him? Did Newt really hate him that much? Was that why he’d been avoiding him lately?

“Shit.” Thomas cursed beneath his breath.

“Is what you are.” Minho finished with a smirk.

“Shut up.”

…

Newt fell to the ground and the shadowed man kicked him in the stomach, causing a surge of pain through his entire body. He moved to pick himself up, only to receive another kick to the side of his head. He gave a scream but never heard it leave his lips as the man smashed a metal bar against his leg. The pain was more than he could withhold and he found himself wanting it all to end.

“You’re so pathetic. You’ll never be like one of us. No one cares about you. You’re worth nothing.”

Newt felt himself get hit in the chest by the bar and lost the will to breathe.

“Come on, Newt. You’re so weak. This is almost too easy. Dauntless ain’t no place for Amity folk like you, Newt. I’ve always hated you.”

He knew that voice from somewhere, and Newt didn’t like it one bit. He felt himself get kicked in the stomach once more, but by this point, the pain had become so intense that it’d actually numbed his entire body with a sear that felt all to familiar. He was all too used to pain.

As he held his breath, Newt swept his leg at his attacker’s feet, knocking the man to the ground. The blonde hastily scrambled to a standing position, grabbing the metal bar his attacker had dropped.

Newt knelt beside the man, grabbing him by the shirt collar and raising his arm to kill.

That was when he saw his face.

“T-Tommy?” Newt felt his heart rate quicken as the dark haired young man stared up at him with unfamiliar eyes. This wasn’t Thomas…

“Hey there shank.” He said, his voice practically hollow.

Newt wasn’t entirely sure when he’d become frozen stiff. He knew he wasn’t real. He knew this wasn’t Thomas…but he couldn’t will himself to move.

His hesitation earned himself the loss and his attacker advanced on him, kicking him on the ribs and knocking him to the ground.

“Why don’t you just die already? Or better yet, why don’t you go kill yourself?” He chuckled, his voice, his words echoing through Newt’s head. It was nothing he hadn’t heard before, but to hear it in Thomas’ voice…the one person he’d been afraid to hear it from. “You’d be doing yourself and the rest of the world a huge favor if you just shot yourself in the head. Or maybe you’d prefer to jump off the edge of the chasm. I suppose I don’t really mind, as long as you’re out of my life forever.”

Newt propped himself up with his elbow, unable to move much more because the pain in his heart had become so unbearable, he could hardly breathe.

“You gonna’ cry, Newt? Did I hurt your feelings?” The attacker kicked Newt again on the side of the head, causing Newt to drop to the floor again. His laughter filled the blonde with pure agony. “So weak. So useless. I hope you rot in hell.”

…

Newt woke with a scream, breathing erratically as he drifted from the simulation. Alby was with him in seconds, holding Newt by the shoulders. Everything hurt, his ribs, his legs, his head, but most of all his heart.

“Newt!” Alby called. The blonde shook, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to recover from the nightmare he’d just passed through. “Newt, it’s me, Alby.” Newt felt as though he were going to throw up again, trying to bring air into his lungs and ending up with what felt like nothing. “You’re alright, Newt. I’m here. I pulled you out of the simulation. You could have given yourself a shucking heart attack.”

“Tommy…”

“Newt, that wasn’t Thomas. You know it wasn’t Thomas.” Alby said. “Newt? Are you listening to me?”

Newt could barely hear Alby over the sound of his own thoughts. He’d never thought to how terrifying it could be to be abused by someone you didn’t even know you cared so much about.


End file.
